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“Well, it’s rather brutal here. We’re advising all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into preserved goods and firearms.” This piece of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, talking, spectacled member of the slick creature crowd that swarms Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in director Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s merely an investment tip from one monster to another. However, in a strange manner, it’s also pretty solid life guidance. Truly, listen to my reasoning.

When situations deteriorate, the most counterproductive action you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Indeed, most of the toothy monsters that occupy Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (possibly his finest) possess the same sly, self-aware sense of humour regarding the blurry line separating the mundane and unadulterated chaos. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and with the passage of time, it’s the underlying idea that resonates the most.

A Youthful Fixation

Naturally, my connection with this movie didn’t start on such an introspective level. Growing up, we were limited to a few battered VHS tapes at home. Part of that group were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case almost certainly acquired from an independent video outlet and featuring growling monsters on its worn-out artwork. I was immediately enamoured and these films wasted no time embedding themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. Henceforth, they became an practically routine part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s initial installment commonly garners all the accolades, thanks mostly because of its reputation as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. Nevertheless, its follow-up seldom receives the same level of elevated esteem, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d lock myself inside and stick it on. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. With repetition, it ingrained itself in my mental framework. If my parents observed this fixation, they appeared unbothered.

Deeper Delights and Societal Easter Eggs

As I matured, new understandings enhanced repeat viewings, amplifying the pleasure of watching small emerald creatures happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his genuine article inspiration.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was modeled after a actual “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film alternate cuts of a self-referential segment where Gremlins seize control of the exact movie you are viewing. One for cinemas, one for VHS and TV, each delivering a smirking slice of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy before the term was even a thing.

A Lasting Influence

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this hidden treasure maintained my fascination as an adult. In time, I even interviewed Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation telling me he made the movie with the express purpose of mocking those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This cartoonish insubordination and resolve to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only made me love it even more.

When I experienced a abrupt familial death not long ago, I was astonished to realize that, during my deepest grief, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Possibly not. The comforting familiarity it offered was needed to thin out my mind’s grief morass – but the insights it had bestowed upon me as an adult were equally valuable.

Like Gremlins running amok in a genetics laboratory, there’s particular aspects in life you just are powerless over. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to emulate them: accept the turmoil, invest all your resources into canned food and shotguns and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.

It’s strong life advice from a most improbable origin – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my go-to cinematic solace.